


Day Two Hundred Forty-Seven || Punch Line

by 365daysofsasuhina



Series: 365 Days of SasuHina 2019 [247]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 11:21:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20527178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/365daysofsasuhina/pseuds/365daysofsasuhina
Summary: Uchiha Sasuke does not start jokes. But he CAN finish them.





	Day Two Hundred Forty-Seven || Punch Line

People say Uchiha Sasuke can’t take a joke. Well...in most cases, they’d probably be right. It’s a little difficult to maintain a sense of humor after witnessing genocide, training under a killer and defiler of human corpses, and murdering his brother...only to find out he’d been innocent all along. And that doesn’t even get into waging war at seventeen, being granted long-lost powers from the beginning of the shinobi era, and helping to defeat a woman known as a goddess.

But a lot can change in a handful of years. After his loss to Naruto, and a rather shortened trek to see the world...Sasuke returned to Konoha, his revived brother, and his hidden-away cousin. The Uchiha would never again be the mighty clan they once were...but he had more than he’d ever hoped to have come the end of the fourth shinobi war. And after ousting the council, getting his brother pardoned, and ending up an ally of the Hyūga...Sasuke finally started to feel - slowly, at first - like he had a handle on his life. That things...might end up okay.

He still had work to do: regarding himself, regarding his bonds, and regarding his family. The last needed protection, and the first needed some introspection. The middle, well...he wasn’t in any rush to attend to. Naruto and Sakura were still on his bad side after all they did. Ignoring his wishes, invading his time and energy despite his refusals...and then the little incident where - despite knowing of Konoha’s hand in his clan’s slaughter - they continued on their merry little quest to drag him back kicking and screaming. _Without_ any plans or inklings to work on justice for the Uchiha.

...yeah. That was going to take some time to get over.

In fact, for a good long while, Sasuke kept himself almost wholly to his family. Shisui, having been in hiding for over a decade to keep his body out of the wrong hands, had his own share of trauma to take care of. Itachi...well, he had a lot of thinking to do regarding his choices. And Itachi’s little twins were pretty much the center of Sasuke’s world. The first new Uchiha born in over ten years. Half-blood, of course...there was no avoiding that. But to him, that no longer mattered. The odds of growing the Uchiha back into a clan of any great numbers was...pretty much impossible, given the remaining gene pool. But all Sasuke wanted was...his family. Their health, their safety, and their happiness. Even if the blood diluted, and the name faded into obscurity...he had these few pieces to cherish.

And that was enough.

But, eventually...Sasuke was encouraged to ‘branch out’. To attempt to make new bonds, or salvage the ones he’d had. At that point, most of his previous classmates were still walking on eggshells around him at best, and hating him at worst. Naruto and Sakura were...somewhere in the middle.

Oddly enough, the first friend Sasuke ‘made’ after his return to Konoha...was Hyūga Hinata. It was a bit unavoidable, all things considered. No longer heiress, she was instead the middleman between her clan and his. That meant seeing plenty of her...along with their outings with the rest of team seven. Hinata’s friendship with the pair meant she also would get dragged along. Which, honestly...Sasuke appreciated. Given her quiet nature, unobtrusive air, and most importantly her clean slate from before his leaving...he could tolerate her the best out of anyone close to their age. And given her help in arranging Itachi’s pardon and the subsequent challenging of the council, she knew better than most everything his family had suffered...and didn’t judge him the same way the others did.

Which meant that the pair ended up bonding...rather quickly. Their similar base natures meshed well...and the awkwardness they both felt around the other pair was a go-to talking point. Hinata’s jilted feelings and Sasuke’s slowly-easing resentment meant they could commiserate. And not just on that. Their parallels - discovered far too late - meant a great deal of understanding.

It felt so nice to just..._talk_ with someone. Share similarities. Not feel judged or...preyed upon. Everyone else either skirted around him so nervously, or seemed to want something from him. But Hinata did neither. She just...treated him like a person.

And that was _so_ unbelievably refreshing. So much so, he started subconsciously seeking her out. They were fast friends, and when he rebirthed the police force with the Hyūga, she was first in line to sign up, her own path feeling lost and purposeless as his did. As partners, they worked together flawlessly.

So, eventually...it evolved into something a little _more_.

Something...dangerous.

By then, it was obvious someone - or perhaps an entire organization of someones - was working against the Uchiha. Hinata’s association with them put her life at risk, and he didn’t want to lose her.

But Hinata, as he’d already come to know, was vivaciously stubborn. Better, in her mind, to chase happiness while they could...than regret letting fear deprive them.

So, after some coaxing...he agreed, and they were official.

It took many by surprise. And not everyone was a good sport about it.

Her teammates were immediately defensive: Kiba more so than Shino. Even Naruto - however briefly - had to question it. But in the end, Hinata convinced them all that this was what they _both_ wanted. No one was forced, or coerced...or taking second pickings. They’d really grown to love one another, despite the strange paths their lives had taken up to that point.

...of course...some aren’t quite so _nice_ when it comes to their...disapproval.

“What do you think of this one?”

Eyeing the top Hinata’s agonizing over from a rack in front of her favorite shop, Sasuke replies, “...it suits you.”

“You think?”

“Mm. I like the color. Brings out your eyes.”

In spite of herself, she goes a bit pink, looking back to the shirt before sheepishly looping it over her arm to keep looking.

“Heh...look who it is…”

Knowing that tone despite not facing its host, Sasuke doesn’t react, keeping his back turned as Hinata stiffens just a hair. “Don’t,” he murmurs just for her to hear. “They’ll get bored.”

“The village traitor and his little harlot,” the random naysayers behind them go on. “Can you believe it? This guy commits treason, tries to kill the village hero...and now he’s tainted the princess of the Hyūga. Can’t believe they let him back in here...shoulda let him _stay out_ when he left back then…!”

Hinata glances harshly at them, but Sasuke stops her with a hand on her shoulder. “Leave it. Words are just words. And what’s the opinion of roaches to lions?”

...this time, he doesn’t lower his volume.

Behind him, the pair of men brave enough to badmouth a wielder of the Rinnegan scowl. “Roaches…? Is that what you think?”

Sasuke turns to look at them, expression aloof. “Well, let’s see...you’re small, weak, disgusting, and I could easily crush you under the heel of my boot. An apt enough description, I’d say.”

“Why you -!”

“What happened to leaving it alone?” Hinata mumbles, clearly displeased at the confrontation. “You’re right, Sasuke-kun. They’re not worth it.”

“Ha! Says the woman warming a traitor’s bed!” one calls, pointing accusingly as she glares. “You’re nothing but a joke, Hyūga! You -!”

Flickering in front of the man in question, Sasuke pauses for a moment, watching him recoil in surprise. “...you want to know my favorite part about jokes…?” he murmurs, expression lax and tone utterly calm.

The pair of them, bravado suddenly lost, quail as his Sharingan spins menacingly. And then, to everyone’s surprise...he _smiles_.

But it’s a wicked, ‘gotcha’ sort of smile.

With a swing of his right arm, he nails one man in the gut before crossing over with his left and knocking the other square in the jaw. Both crash into the wall behind them, dazed and crumpling.

Sasuke nonchalantly shakes out his fists...but neither really feel a thing. “The _punch line_,” he then spits, giving them one last glower before turning back to his girlfriend.

Hinata blinks. “...did...did you just make a joke…?”

“...did I?”

“...you did. And it was a _pun_.”

That earns a sigh. “...don’t tell Shisui. He’d never let it go.”

“I d-don’t think he’d even believe me.”

**Author's Note:**

> ...welp, after a long day including a several-hour stomach ache...this isn't my best work xD The beginning is a little snarky, which is a bit odd for me. But I won't lie...I really like the ending, bahaha - it was what I thought as soon as I saw the prompt. It just...took some time to get there.
> 
> Witnessing Sasuke making a pun is like seeing Bigfoot. You can tell everyone you saw it, but...no one will believe you. Because, like Bigfoot, Sasuke's sense of humor is only a myth.
> 
> ...can you tell I'm tired? xD
> 
> Anyway, I am...exhausted, so best to end it there before /I/ make any more bad jokes lol - thanks for reading!


End file.
